The Week in review- Valentine's edition

* Just to be clear, Valentine's day is not depressing because I do not get presents or go to fancy places- you don't need money to show your love for a special someone. It is depressing because I do not have a special someone.

* Prayers and happy thoughts please- I have started applying for master's level jobs! As one of the other interns pointed out, in April (when I graduate), ALL the new graduates will be looking for positions so there will be alot of competition and apparently it is not uncommon to have to wait for someone for a month or two.

* File this under weird names: there is a child in the daycare that I see a client in named Martini. Yes really.

* The hours count is 387. I still have not heard from my program director. Arrrrg!!!

*File this under wierd: This week Michael started a conversation with me about my lack of a love life. I was ultra hesitant to have this conversation with, really either one of them, but he persisted so I, reluctantly at first, participated- and I think he acctually cared. But that's not the wierd part. While we were in the kitchen having this lengthy conversation, Jen was in the living room watching TV. Not once did she come out and join the conversation. Ok, actually both Jen's non-participation and the conversation itself were weird. I have stopped discussing my lack of a love life with them for my own well-being because it only leads to either sacrine sweet cliches being recited or, if I'm really lucky, a half-assed attempt to fix me up with someone.

* My all time favorite excuse for missing a therapy appointment: One of the other therapist's clients cancelled their session because the Drew Carey show is on during their appointment time. Hmm... I can't imagine why the child is disrespectful and inconsiderate of other's time!

*I accidently no-showed a client this week. oops! I thought that I had scheduled him for a later appointment and I was not in the building during the time that he was actually scheduled.

* Answer me this: Michael Phelps is being paid millions of dollars because he excels in a sport in which healthy lungs are a neccessity. Why oh why would you smoke ANYTHING??!! DUMB_ _ _!!!

* There is an article on Parentdish.com that says that studies have shown that there is a gene for empathy, so if you feel things, I mean really feel things, you can thank your parents. So, my question is, which parent did I get it from? And thank you- empathy is an important tool to have as a therapist.

*Thank you to Steph & Tom for making my valentine's day not so horrible.

Back in the saddle

Ok, so I broke my vow to blog faithfully at least once a week. Sorry! So here's what's been goin' on:
* I received my final W-4 and got my federal taxes done. The good news is that I do not have to pay any taxes for 2008! The bad news is that low gross wages doesn't amount to a whole lotta withholding money to get back.

* It's been a rough couple weeks with my primary client at work- he bit me on my arm. I was wearing a sweater and it still broke the skin!! He has been super aggressive lately- everytime I say "no" he hits, kicks, attempts to bite, and throws things at me. Despite this, I still think he's adorable (sometimes) If I can still love a child that is not mine after all this, I can only imagine the pull your own child has with you. Also, I think this means that I am ready to be a mother. ( are you listening God?!)

* The hours count: 380.5 down, 119.5 more to go!! I emailed my program director about using my hours with one of my clients at work, since I do play therapy with him. My director has yet to answer me back, so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

* I had the most heartbreaking group ever last night- I had to stop the group twice to explain that it is never ever ok for anyone, including our parents, to hurt us. And I'm still not sure that a couple of them got it.

* I am really not looking forward to Saturday: it's... that holiday ( I am not saying the v-word) that is a big fat reminder of the one area of my life that has never gone the way that I want it to. I don't care what all the hip little columnists say, it is NOT fun to be single on V-day and there is nothing good about it!!! Candy and e-harmony commercials everywhere! It's a minefield!!!

*To add insult to injury, today one of the kids at the daycare asked me if I have a baby in my belly.

*The client I mentioned in my last post is well on her way to being successfully discharged!! This particular client is my big, blue whale, so to speak, so I am tickled pink for both of us!!

*I have been craving eggs and pancakes like mad. Not sure why though.

That is all for now

On my mind this week

* I am STILL waiting for my W-4 from KP!!! However, I did find my last paystub and added the totals from each agency- there are 3 this year- and the numbers were not good. For the first time since I graduated from college, I made under 20,000. I knew my income was lower this year, but I didn't realize it was that low.

* I have spent the past two days getting my lesson plans ready for Together Families (the group I am leading for part of my internship). I feel like that is all I have done for the past two days.

*I am starting a new case this week, which will be good for my paycheck, but means that I will be working marathon days. I cannot wait until I am done with school and can just work one job.

* My weekly visit to Steph's was wierd and not at all satisfying. We didn't really talk because she was sick :( And I didn't get to play with Jacob.

* It was a very stressful week client-wise and I really wish I could talk about it! However, I cannot do that here, but I will have a jam packed Supervision session this week! All I can say here is: Is a full moon approaching?!

Jan 11th- 17th or All Stressed out

So here's the weekly report:

* I am totally and completely broke (thanks so much KP!!!!)

*I am starting to get stressed out about my clinical hours, or lack therof. Now that I am taking the internship course, I have a firm deadline, which would be April 23rd. I am now at 361 overall hours and 176 Relational hours. November and December seem to be consistently bad for therapy attendance because of the holidays. I am praying that I have clients with amazingly good attendance rates!

* Speaking of amazing attendance rates, on Wednesday I had four clients scheduled and all four showed up!!!! I am the envy of all the other therapists who knew about it! (no shows are quite common at Pinebrook)

*I finished Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas and I highly recommend it! So good! But it's a tear jerker. I am now reading One, Two, Buckle My Shoe (an Agatha Christie novel) and The Message, which is the new testament of the Bible written in layperson speak. It's actually kinda neat. Changing the language of it makes it easier to read.

*I made my own playlist on Playlist.com and I am enjoying it. (thanks Steph!)

*I had a really good session with one of my clients this week. She has made so much progress and I am so proud of her. She is one of the most difficult clients I've ever had, by far, so her progress is a real achievement for both of us!

* I'm so glad that Steph has internet and will be able to post again! I miss reading about her adventures. It's a shame that she couldn't do a paid blog- she's such a good writer.

* Saturn of the Valley is on my bad list

* Is it spring yet? I'm ready for warm weather and I miss being able to feel my toes!

* I have one of the three W-4's I need to be able to do my taxes (and get a refund!!) I am still awaiting my W-4's from KP and Valley Counseling. Doesn't it figure that they would be a pain even now!!

Your Horoscope - This Week
This is going to be an excellent year for partnership and romantic issues. Jupiter moves into Aquarius and your partnership zone on Monday, where it will stay until 2010. Despite the issues and problems you've had to deal with in past relationships, you may decide to get married, engaged, or perhaps commit to your lover on a long-term basis this year. You're also going to be doing a lot of socializing and this is going to bring many new friends into your life. You're going to have a lot of fun.

The week in Laura

I am going to try to post on my blog at least once a week. I would love to be able to post several times a day, like Steph, but right now I just have too much to do and not enough energy to do it. So here's what's goin' on:

* I REALLY miss your blog Steph! I can't wait until you get internet access again!
*I feel like my life is just a big cycle right now: get up, go to work, go to internship, come home, eat dinner, go to sleep, repeat. And I think it's going to be that way until I graduate. :(
* Speaking of graduating, that should happen in about mid-April, but it's ultimately dependent on when I finish my clinical hours. I need to have 500 hours of Client contact ( each 45 minute session counts as an hour.), 250 of which need to be relational (with more then one person).
* Right now I have 353 hours done and 159.5 of them are relational!
* Living with teachers during snow season is torture- I want a snow day too!!
* I am almost done cutting out my flashcards for the MFT exam( I have to take the practice exam for my internship course), all 400 of them. Now I just have to memorize them. Oooh, when will the fun stop!!!
*It can stop snowing until next winter. Seriously..I'm good.
*I miss having enough money
*I have started making a list of all the agencies/companies in the area that I can potentially work at when I finish school. I plan to start applying for jobs in early to mid March.
* My 2009 calendar is Flower Faries. There is something magical about faries that is really appealing to me right now. Also, the pictures look like illustrations for a children's book, so I can keep the calendar and frame the pictures for the daughter that mom tells me I'm going to have. ( I hope she is right! :) )
* Reading non-school books is now a guilty pleasure for me. Right now I am reading Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas by James Patternson during my client's nap time (if he sleeps). Most of the story is a diary that Suzanne writes for her son Nicholas about her life and how she met and fell in love with Nicholas' father. It's a neat idea that I may have to do for my children.
* I am continuing to read The Bible on Sunday mornings. I have a Bible that includes devotionals, so right now I have just been reading them and the passages that go with them.
* I have Senoritis BAD!!! April cannot come soon enough.
* E-harmony commercials make me want to cry and not in a good way. I really hope there is a man waiting for me at the end of this journey through school.

Just a good quote

From the NCU discussion board:

"Faith is a big part of humanity, regardless of what humanists say. Personally, looking at history, it is a bigger leap of faith to believe in the goodness of man than it is to believe in the goodness of God."

To Don't

Another belated post, this one on my resolutions for 2009. I have such a strong desire for change, so I am doing a different type of list this year.

I resolve to not:

1 put more in to relationships then I get out of them
2 worry about things I cannot control
3 worry what others think
4 procrastinating so much
5 judge my success by the lack of jewlry on my left hand
6 forget to make time for fun

The List

Since I didn't get around to posted a Thankful list on Thanksgiving (I was otherwise occupied), I'm going to post it now:

1 I am good at what I do!
2 I am two classes away from completing my masters degree!!
3 I was offered a paid position at my internship site before I completed my internship
4 My school supervisor told me that he would happily refer clients to me. He is in AZ, but still a
HUGE compliment
5 I am a nice person
6 I spend my (working) days making the world an ever so slightly better place
7 I have nice eyes
8 My mom is an endless source of support
9 I have such an adorable, creative, beautiful niece and nephews
10 I am smart and intelligent
11 I generally manage to land on my feet
12 I am 30, but most people think I'm younger!
13 I like my family and usually get along with them
14 I have toned muscular legs
15 I have naturally long nails
16 My hair is pretty nice too
17 I know that I will acomplish all that I set out to do
18 My complection is pretty good
19 I am creative and crafty
20 I am resourceful
21 I can sing
22 I have a unique and special relationship with my big sister
23 I can decorate my space well
24 I can grow beautiful flowers
25 I can grow herbs
26 I am resourceful
27 I am a good friend

(Yucky) Tales from the field

I was less than thrilled when my client, E., cancelled his three hour sessions on both Monday and Tuesday- that's a big chunk of my paycheck that will be missing. I was told by the daycare staff that he would not be in until late afternoon, which, because of my scheudule, was not possible for me to come in and see him. However, words cannot explain how I felt when I arrived at his daycare on Wednesday to find him COVERED in bruises and scratches- easily 20 to 30 of each. The nurse's aid that accompanys him said that his father had simply stated "it happened over the weekend". He didn't say what had happened over the weekend. His other Nurse's aid (he has two), that worked with him on Monday said that dad said that he did it himself. E can be aggressive when he is frustrated, however his aggression is directed at others not himself and 99% of the time doesn't leave a mark on the victim- and I bruise like a peach so if he's not injuring me...... And I have watched this child hit the same spot on him self day after day and not have a bruise. Not to mention the fact that he is essentially a walking skeleton- at 10 years old he weights about 35 lbs. There is no way that he did this himself. He spent both Wednesday's session and yesterday's session acting out aggressively and repeating "bad, bad, bad" and " and "I'm bad". E is essentally non-verbal- the only word I've ever heard him say is "bad" and on a typical day he says it maybe two or three times a session, not constantly. I feel that I need to pause my story for a minute and explain. The decison to call childline is gut renching- contrary to popular belief we really do question whether or not the bruises and/or behavior we are seeing could have been the result of an accident or if the child is lying. It is not a call that is made on a whim and, honestly, it is quite upseting for the person who is charged with making it. However, in cases like this one, I don't ask myself what will happen to the parents if I do call, I ask myself what will happen to the child if I don't call? In all honesty, it's not about my legal obligation to the client (which as a mandated reporter I do have a legal obligation to report suspected abuse), it' s about the ethical responsibility I have to the client- if I don't call who will? Nobody deserves to the treatment I believe he is getting from his "parents". So yesterday, after a night of bad sleep, I called Childline and spent about a half hour explaining to the intake specialist what I saw and his history (we suspect that he is a victim of parental neglect) afterwhich the intake specialist informed me that, while I did a good job explaining the situation, the the report would not be registered (a registered complaint is one that is sent to CYS AND law enforcement- so it is seriously investigated) and that it would help if someone with a professional degree ( an master's or PH.D) would report the abuse. Apparently the fact that I see him 12 hours a week and have the education and experience to recognize abuse and maltreatment is just not good enough. Because I only have a Bachelors. It will be forwarded to CYS because every complaint has to be investigated, but I belive that that is the only reason. I feel so powerless. And angry at the daycare and the other Nurse's aid, who saw he bruised up but didn't do anything. It is just frightening that this can happen and the agency charged with helping is doing nothing!

The calls are comming from inside the house!

Here is my horoscope for today, the last day that I can consider myself to be "twentysomething":
Your Horoscope - Today, August 15, 2008
Today's planetary energies will be very demanding, Laura. As you agonize over whether or not you are "up to standard", the planets, in a very cheeky way, respond that you are not! That's because you are moving too quickly! The change in direction that you are making at the moment is profound, yet you are trying to take it lightly. Dare to go deeper.

Suggestions Please

I have been trying to eat healthier, only partly because I would like to lose some weight but mostly just to be healthier. However, this week the premenstral cravings have taken over- if its fat or sugar ladden I want it. Oh and carbs are good too. Is there something healthy I can eat to satisfy these cravings?

My Taffeta badge of honor

Tomorrow I will don a lovely red gown and help one of my friends get married. And despite my complaints as of late, I am happy and honored to be one of her bridesmaids. I think Cindy Chupack explained it best in “The Between Boyfriends Book”: “…rarely have I been awarded that purple heart of friendship that would put me among the few, the proud, the bridesmaids. I find this distressing. I always considered myself a good friend, a girl’s girl, but the lack of taffeta in my closet would seem to imply otherwise.” I’ve known Jen for about 13 years now and in that time I’ve served as her confidante (especially in the last year), cheerleader, partner in crime, therapist, companion, and voice of reason. And while sometimes our friendship seems out of balance, I honestly enjoy playing these roles. I really enjoy making people feel better (hence the profession) and knowing I’ve helped someone else. So tomorrow I will wear that taffeta creation with pride because I have more than earned it!

Tales from the field...

Last night one of the Pinebrook clients and his grandmother arrived a little early for his appointment, so they were there when I walked my previous client to the waiting room. Once we got in the therapy room, my client's grandmother asked me if I had other clients. She seemed a little suprised at this! I was speachless. I have been seeing them for about eight months now and she just realized that her grandson is not my only client!

The dress

Jen has her dress hanging in my room because she was told it needs to be out of the dress bag so it doesn't get ruined. She can't hang it in her room because she shares it with Michael, so it' s in my room. I swear it has a presence! It's so pretty that I cannot resist just staring at it.

The State of Me

Ok, so it’s been a little while since I last posted. Sorry! Life has been hectic the past month. I finished up two more classes-eleven classes down, five more to go (two of which I am enrolled in now!!) and while I am taking a much needed one month break from normal classes (still enrolled in practicum), I have not had a huge amount of time the past few weeks. I had a lot of little things that needed to be caught up, deep cleaning if you will. And then there’s Jen’s wedding and all the stuff that goes with that.
KidsPeace is ok- it’s a paycheck until I finish my degree. It’s the same job I had before and despite the change in agencies, I am still stressed out. I think this is because I have grown accustomed to having my thoughts and opinions listened to and having, at the very least, a small say in the treatment of the client. However, now I am working in an entry -level position with people who do not know my ability level, and so, I’ve had a lot of things explained to me that I already know, ECT. I am trying so very hard to keep an open mind about this and I tell myself that maybe I will learn something new, but it has yet to happen and I am starting to get very frustrated and annoyed. My job is not at all challenging or stimulating like the work I do at Pinebrook. I think I am just ready to move on, but am unable to until I finish my degree.
I am exactly one month away from my 30th birthday. When I was a teenager, I pictured myself spending this birthday with my husband and children- the sexes of those children and how many depended on my mood at the time, but their existence never did. I pictured myself living in a nice house, which I would be able to afford because I would have just finished up my Ph.D and my husband would have a good job as well (the type of job was also dependant on my mood). So I sit here now, one month away from 30, in the room I rent in my friend’s house, stressing out about getting enough hours to finish my master’s degree so that I can get a decent job, and looking longingly at said friend’s wedding dress in all it’s beautiful wonderful glory, wondering if I am ever going to get to wear one of those. I am not depressed, but I have some moments where I am close.

On being an aunt....

I periodically read a blog written by a single woman about her adventures- It provides support and reassurance that I'm not the only one. Her post on her impending aunthood says it all much better than I ever could: http://thisfish.ivillage.com/love/archives/2008/05/my-new-job.html

Mood Alert!!

On Monday I had the truly wonderful task of handing in my resignation letter. I opted to hand my letter directly to Kim to prevent it from being "lost" in her mailbox. Kim has handled this event with the grace and professionalism that I have come to expect from her- my letter has yet to be seen or heard of by anyone other then Kim. I would not be suprised if it accidently on purpose fell in to the trash can before anyone could see it. I will be printing out another copy and taking it to HR as proof that it does exist and I did , in fact, give two weeks notice.
So you would think that I would be feeling an unparalled extacy- in two weeks I will never have to deal with Kim again!!! Wrong. I forgot how emotionally stressful leaving an agency can be. Not the office/Case Management part. I'm truly estatic about leaving that behind. It's the clients. After you spend a couple years spending a couple hours five days a week with someone, you get attached. There is a feeling of closeness because you have come in to their houses and seen and helped them through some rough times. Added to that, because I'm a therapist, is the feeling that you are leaving them high and dry. I would like to leave them in a good place, but both of them still need therapy and I know that it will probably be awhile in til they get a new therapist (everyone has waiting lists) and usually, the client winds up losing some of the skills that they have learned in therapy. I can't believe that in another week and a half I will probably never see these people again. It feels like an amputation. So, just a warning- I am very emotional right now.

Bring on the rain

This must be national Craptastic week. My day can beat the snot out of Steph's day. The loveliness started at the late hour of 4am, when one of my roommates thumped in to the kitchen (which sits directly above my room), waking me up. Then I had another run in with Kim- "a meeting" to discuss "concerns" AKA little mistakes that she has exagerated to make it seem like I am the most incompetent case manager to walk the earth. Then I backed up in to a car backing out of my space. My car now has a huge scratch on the rear bumper. Oh Joy! Dr.K, my practicum supervisor asked if I had heard from KidsPeace and when I told him I had not, he said he was confused as to what had happened and oh well. (I'm more then qualified for the job and my interview went well). I'm confused as well because I know for a fact that they called one of my references. I also wonder if they called my current employer (Kim) and if so, if she lied and said that I was a bad employee. So I guess that ship has sailed. Now I'm worried that she'll screw me out of getting a new job.
Maybe tommorrow will be better. (please!!)

Sigg Bottles

I was recently asked if I had ever gotten a sigg bottle. I have two, one looks like the bottle above and the other one, I cannot find a picture of on the website, but it's smaller and is silver with blue circles on it. They are a little pricey, but I figured I usually carry a water bottle with me so eventually, it will pay for itself. Plus it's better for the environment!

Spring Cleaning

Much of the last week was spent holed up in my bedroom, avoiding the wars going on around me. So I had plenty of time to think, which I think during this time of year, leads to an itch for newness. So I rearranged my room- not completely, but enough to make it "new", and I did alot of cleaning, more then I usually do. I also decided it was time to revamp my blog. However, I couldn't find a layout that I liked any more then my current one, so I decided just to change the colors. I also changed the picture. While Cinderella is not my favorite Disney character, I can relate to the all work no fun life that she has in the begining of the movie (and I'm hoping that my life will change dramatically for the better soon!) Changing things around feels like bloodletting to me- like if I change the layout of my room and the colors of my blog all the bad energy (or whatever) will leave me and things will be good again. I don't know why. Maybe because I would like to believe that it is this easy to make good things happen. Or maybe because I feel like I have tried everything else, so maybe if I just hang a good picture or pick a good color, my life will change.

The kind of food that doesn't make you fat

The last couple months have been jam packed and have left me with quiet a lot to process. Shortly after my last post, I had to present my Genogram (detailed family tree/history) to my class. I will not go in to details here, but it’s not exactly white picket fences and June Cleaver. That experience and the discussions with my mom and sister that followed have given me a lot of food for thought. As I was recovering from that, Uncle Bob passed away. I think Steph did a beautiful job of expressing the shock, pain, and questions that we were left with after Uncle Bob’s passing. I think that in some ways it was harder for me because of the depression and suicide. Because I am a therapist, there is a tiny part of me that thought if I only knew…. I know that in reality, there was nothing I personally could have done, but I cannot help but feel that I could have. I am fortunate to have a supervisor who understood and, through a story, reassured me that I could not of done anything but it was normal to feel this way. My heart goes out to Chrissy and Betsy (not that I don’t feel for Ryan) because I think every girl dreams of their wedding day and a part of that is having your dad walk you down the aisle. Not to mention the father-daughter dance. And he will never meet their children. I know that the loss is so much more profound than these little things, but it’s hard not to think of all the things that will be missed. One of the many thoughts that ran through my head as I drove home was that I have had to do so many things by myself, I hope that I don’t have to walk myself down the aisle too. If I were to reflect on it further, I would only repeat what Steph said.
Shortly after that, I found out that the agency I work for had lost a major funding source, and so there is a good chance that most of us will be out of a job come May 30th. Really, this is both good and bad. The bad is mostly obvious: I need a job and it’s always hard to leave clients behind. However, I see this as an opportunity for change and a new beginning. I haven’t really been happy at VCG for quite some time and I think this is God’s way of giving me a kick in the pants to get out of there. Right now I am just hoping it all works out for me- A very wise woman told me it always does. (Hi mom!)
In addition to the above, my Practicum provides me with new challenges and food for thought almost daily. In the past couple months I have had to call Childline, figure out how to get through to a stubborn little bugger, and deal with the aftermath of a suicide attempt. It’s not all rain and thunder clouds though- I also get to watch my clients grow and heal. It’s a very slow process, but it’s magical too. I know that some people think that the job of a therapist is depressing, but really it’s inspiring to see someone make the decision to change themselves, work toward that goal, and finally achieve it. And the fact that I get to be a part of it is just gravy.

Tales from the field...

I have been wearing my glasses for the past week, as I do from time to time when my eyes need a break from contacts. Upon noticing this today, my Client's sister asked me if I used to sit too close to the TV.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I seem to have a reoccuring theme in my life: the battle for respect. I think because I am quiet and shy, people think that it's ok to treat me poorly. This has happened with my supervisors at work (including my clinical supervior last week the bastard!), my school supervisor, and even friends and family. It's at the point where I am considering having "welcome" tatooed on my forehead. The question is how do you cure the disease to please?
The funny thing is that I have no problem confronting my clients, but when it comes to those close to me or in a position of power, I lose my nerve. I have started to experiment with being less of a doormat at work, by not asking how high when my director at work says jump. I know that this sounds like a risky mistake, but it's acctually worked for me. When I started to show more of a backbone at work, my supervisor started to treat me ever so slightly less like a doormat. But she's just one of the people that need to be reformed.

"I'm sorry"

I have heard those two little words a million times over the last three months:
"I'm sorry I forgot about our appointment. For the third time"
"I'm sorry that you didn't get to talk in supervision. again."
"I'm sorry that I interupted you to ask your sister a question.again."
"I'm sorry that I didn't answer your email. again."
"I'm sorry that I asked you about your week and then ignored the answer to focus on your sister/my grandchildren. again."
The funny thing is that most of the time, they don't really mean that the person is sorry. What they really mean is "It really sucks for me that you are upset about something I did or said so now I'm going to say these two words with the hope that I will be exzonerated (sp?) from all wrong doing." Nope. I'm sorry, but I don't buy it. If the person was truly sorry, he/she would make an effort to change the behavior instead of continually repeating the same offenses and then offering the standard empty "I'm sorry". you're sorry? Then PROVE IT!!

The Year Ahead

I have long been facinated with New Years eve/day superstitions. Some of the more interesting ones:
* Hold a 20.00 dollar bill in your hand when the ball falls and you will have enough money for the comming year. (I've done this the past couple years and I've yet to truely run out)
* Eat Black Eyed Peas with New years dinner for luck
*Wear Pink Underware on New years Eve/ Day for luck in Romance (It SOOO doesn't work!!! UPDATE: they are suposed to be new. oops!)
*The first visitor to your home should be male, dark haired, and bearing gifts (Maybe Garret should visit you on New Years Claire)
*Eat Cabage on New Years day for luck.
*Empty pockets or empty cupboards on New Years Eve portend a year of poverty
*To assure good luck for the New Year, one should sleep with a horseshoe under his pillow on New Year's Eve.
*Bills should be paid so you will not be in debt during the comming year.
*Nothing -- absolutely nothing, not even garbage -- is to leave the house on the first day of the year- the year must begin with something's being added to the home before anything subtracts from it.
*Make sure to do some work -- and be successful at -- something related to your work on the first day of the year, even if you don't go near your place of employment that day. Limit your activity to a token amount, though, because to engage in a serious work project on that day is very unlucky.
*Also, do not do the laundry on New Year's Day, lest a member of the family be 'washed away' (die) in the upcoming months. The more cautious eschew even washing dishes.
* And then there's the old standard of kissing at midnight

I just hung my 2008 Susan Branch calendar and in the middle of the January drawing is the most perfect quote for the comming year (unfortunely): " oh bed! oh bed! Delicious bed, that heaven upon earth, to the weary head." ~ Thomas Hood

Random Thoughts

* I just finished my seventh class with a perfect 100%
* I start my next Class January 1st- Psychopathology (which means that you have a MH diagnosis not that you're a psychopath) & Marriage and Family therapy
* If my deadbeat clients don't start showing up consistently, I will never finish my Practicum/Intership!!!
* Related to the above, I just picked up five new clients so hopefully I will get more then a few hours a week!!!
*It doesn't feel like it's three days before Christmas. Maybe a day of present wrapping and cookie baking will change that!
* I have taken even more of a liking to the song "Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses. I think it's because I wish that some of that "old christmas magic" they talk about would come my way!
* I feel ripe for a change and I'm really hoping that 2008 is the year everything starts working out for me. And everyone else too, but especially me (I'm putting this one in lavender because that seems to be my color.)
* My local supervisor, Dr. K, told me that he thinks that I should go in to a Psy.D (the non-scientific version of a Ph.D in psychology) after I finish my Master's. I said we will see how I feel after I finish the master's degree. At this point I would like to get my MRS degree followed by my MOM degree before I consider a Psy.D or Ph.d. But the huge compliment is noted!
* My school supervisor is annoying the crap out of me. He says that he believes in building a relationship (no mom not that kind of relationship), but during every individual supervision I have had with him there are always interuptions (people walking in to his office, phone calls) and this week and apparently my next "individual" supervision will be shared with another student, who seems to be more needy then me(so she talks more then I do and so I barely get to talk about my stuff). How do you expect to build a relationship if I never get to talk to you?! DUH!!!!! (yes I know I sound about 9, but it felt good!) Although, I feel I must add that the school just switched presidents and hired a Provost so he has had a lot of extra work, but still.....
* I'm sick of having to be on top of everyone and everything- I've had to do a alot of micromanging at work and at Pinebrook and really, with my school supervisor a little (with the scheduling of supervision times) I wish I could just stop at being on top of my things!
*Wow do I ever need this vacation!

Gettin' What I deserve (Finally!)

Almost every Tuesday during supervision, my on-site supervisor tells me in one way or another that he is very pleased with all that I have done during my short time as an intern. The joy that this brings me, I cannot explain. After two or three years of working under people who do not appreciate what I do or how well I do it, it is beyond nice to get the professional validation I have been craving!! My supervisor has a PH.D, has been a licenced psychologist for almost 20 years, and has been working in the mental health field almost as long as I've been alive. It never ceases to amaze me that someone who, by rights, could treat me as if I know nothing treats me like a respected collegue and my supervisor at work, who has a bachelors and almost no clinical experience, treats me like I know nothing.

UGG...it's only Monday?!

I don't really have anything new to post, but I feel like venting. My free time seems to fly by while the hours that I am working (paid or not) last f--o--r--e--v--e--r! If only I could come in to some money so I wouldn't have to work so much! Oh Well...three more weeks until my much needed vacation!!

These would be good to find under the tree!

I was wondering around Target when I found this book to the left. It's basically an in your face nutrition book, which sounds like it is right up mom's alley- they avocate for getting rid of meat, dairy, and sugar. I was curious, so I looked it up on amazon.com and found a cookbook to go with it, which looks like it answers the question that' s been on my mind: If I don't eat meat and dairy, what can I make that will be healthy, filling, and not repulsive? Here is the publisher's summary: Skinny Bitches Can Bake Their Cake - And

Eat it Too! Quit your bitching--they've heard you already! You read Skinny Bitch and it totally rocked your world. Now you want to know, "What can I cook that's good for me, but doesn't taste like crap?" Well, lucky for you, the Bitches are on the case. Self-proclaimed pigs, Rory and Kim understand all too well: Life without lasagna isn't a life worth living; chocolate cake is vital to our survival; and no one can live without mac `n cheese--no one. So can you keep to your SB standards and eat like a whale? Shit yeah, bitches. To prove it, Rory and Kim came up with some kick-ass recipes for every craving there is:
-Bitchin' Breakfasts -PMS (Pissy Mood Snacks) -Sassy Soups and Stews -Grown-up Appetizers -Comfort Cookin' -Hearty Ass Sandwiches -Happy Endings (Desserts)
And a ton more! They are all so good (and easy to make) you're gonna freak out. Seriously. What are you waiting for? Get your skinny ass in the kitchen!

Decorating Chinese style

Inspired by Bridget Jones, I have decided to maybe try some Feng Shui. I am making this post red because that is such a lucky color in feng shui. So I was researching it and I mapped my room out. My toilet is located in my helpful people/travel corner (interestingly enough, in the apt my toilet was in the Knowledge corner- no wonder Liberty didn't work out!). My bed is located in several sectors: the knowlege, Family/health, and Career sections. Not quite sure what the interpretation could be for that. And the only thing in my Wealth section is my tv. and maybe one of the doors. Does anyone know what the significance of that would be? The Relationship/Romance section is where I have my desk, computer and bookshelves. They suggest using the colors pink and red (at the moment my red vacuum cleaner is in this corner), having pairs of things (does my pair of computer speakers count?), and having pictures of loved ones (I do have pictures of friends and family here already) I also read that peonies are supposed to help with love. So I changed my computer wallpaper to a pair of peonies. I also read that lucky bambo is supposed to be able to help in several areas- the area depends on how many sticks you have. I have one lucky bambo plant in my Fame/reputation area which has five sticks in it- five sticks is supposed to help with health.

Bibliotherapy for singletons

I decided to buy "bridget jones's diary" since I was given the sequel for my birthday (which is like giving a toy that requires batteries without the batteries!!!) LOVED it! I completely understand why it is both a bestseller and a movie, althought the book format doesn't seem to really lend it's self to a movie. Althought, I think you have to be single and in your late twenties to early thirties to fully appreciate the book. The only thing that bothered me was that she talks about how she is fat- but she only weighs 130. Now on to the sequel!

(Twilight Zone Music here)

I read my horoscope pretty much everyday, whether it is online or in a magazine- not because I actually believe that what is says will come true, but really just for entertainment. But every now and then, it contains a grain of truth. When I read my horoscope in "all you" last night it contained so many grains of truth I checked to see if I was being watched:
LEO( July 24- Aug.23) Some you win, some you lose, and some you just get on with. You don't have the option to think in terms of success or failure. So strong is the commitment, so deep is the connection, that you simply have to give-and keep giving-your all. As you now look at your options you feel a little frustrated. You aren't free to do what you would really like to be doing. You are, though, free to do what you need to do. While that's not as superficially satisfying, it is far more important. The moves you make this month will stand you in good stead for many months to come. You know this already. Trust what you feel. Accept what you might normally reject and move on.
I have been feeling a little pressed for time since I started the new client so while I am excited about starting my practicum(which is like having a part time job), the thought of working more hours worries me. I also just realized that I am going to have to do 2 classes and my practicum/internship for two semesters(which is the equivalent of 3 classes= full time in Grad school) if I want to be finished in a year which I do.

Just Cute

Tonight I had my client,M, doing a packet about herself (with my help of course). The one page was about your family tree. When I told her this, she screwed her face up and then, with a very confused look on her face, said "umm..I don't have a family tree". I explained what a family tree was, but I think she was still a little confused.

Separated at birth?

Anybody else think they resemble each other?

Cursed? You make the call..

Today as I was leaving the office parking lot, minding my own business, a lady backed up in to me. Never fear, it left a very tiny scratch on my front bumper, not visible to the naked eye unless you are the owner of the car. I decided to be nice and let it go because we all make mistakes sometimes. However, I was a little freaked out because this happened so close to my close call from yesterday and as we all know, bad things happen it threes. My drive to the client's was uneventful so I told myself to shake it off- the day would get better! Nope. When I came out to get back in my car I was greeted by the sight of a meter maid writing me a parking ticket. ARGGG! And the day just got better from there- my clients were off, I was stuck behind every slowpoke on the road, I was late to every client, and other stuff too!

Your prayers and happy thoughts please!

Next Thursday I have an interview for an internship at Pinebrook Services!! What a relief it would be to have my internship lined up! Everybody cross their fingers for me please!

A Close Call

So today I was driving down 78 in the left lane and there was a truck in the right lane beside me. Out of no where, a small red car pulls out in front of both of us to get to the paved part of the median(on the other side of my lane), I'm assuming to turn around. I came so close to hitting the car that I braced my self for the crash- probably within a couple inches of hitting it. If I had not been paying attention, I would have hit the driver's door of this car, most likely killing the driver on impact, and I would have been, at the least, seriously injured. So this driver risked the lives of at least two people all to save himself a minute or two. How can you be so selfish?! Not to mention stupid.

Another one bites the dust!

I finished and turned in my final assignment for Family Therapy with Children. So am officially on break. Until October 1st when I start my next class- Couple and sex therapy. Six classes down. Seven classes, two practicums, and an internship to go!! Why, I can see a very faint light at the end of the tunnel.

Happy Birthday Steph

You're probably going to think this is cheesy but I'm doin' it anyway!
Dear Steph,
Thank you for posting about all the funny, frustrating, and cute things your kids do with such love. After spending at least a portion of my day with parents who act as if their child(ren) is a bother, your blog is therapeutic for me.

Thank you for listening to my rants about work, mom and/or Dad, Claire, singlehood, welfare, and so many other topics.

Thank you for being weird- you make me feel normal!

Thank you making sure I am up to date regarding the latest celebrity scandals and have ample opportunity to discuss them.

Thank you for not teaching your kids to call me something evil.

Thank you for being so frickin' concerned about my "girls". Seriously, even mom wasn't that concerned.

Thank you for being my continual shopping companion. Despite what you think, I really enjoy those trips.


"She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child. " ~Barbara Alpert

Oy Vey

I started a new client tonight, M. I cannot honestly say that it was a good start, but it was a start. M lives in Allentown, so I figured I did not need directions, but I mapquested the address as a back up. So naturally, I got lost and wound up being a half hour late. Thankfully, her mother wasn't upset about this. She seemed friendly and m is adorable. However, I realized about half way through that in my mad dash to get to the client, I had forgotten to take a drink and was now desperately in need of one- I smelled the dry mouth smell at one point. M didn't seem to be bothered by this, but her mother asked if I needed a drink. How embarassing!! It wouldn't have been so bad if this wasn't the first time we were meeting. I'm just going to have to make sure that my breath smells minty fresh the next time.

Wanted: man with tools

My elliptical machine arived today- not in one piece like it was pictured- in many, many pieces. So as soon as I was done eating dinner, I began to put it together. This required about 2 hours, a (new) rubber mallet, and lots of elbow grease- but I got it done. I now have a decent tool collection. I don't want a decent tool collection. I want a man with a decent tool collection!(and before anyone says it: one that I'm not related to) Don't get me wrong, I am proud of the fact that I can put things together and hang a picture- I am not a helpless little lady, but I find myself getting increasingly jealous of my peers who have a husband, fiance, or boyfriend to do the dirty work for them. I'm not asking for much, I just want to stop buying tools.

Boys will be boys

So today one of my clients and I were playing with Flarp(noise putty). He had minimal interest in playing with it and repeated "all done" urgently. So I put it away and on a whim, pressed down on it with one of my fingers, which produced a realistic fart noise. My client's head whipped around- what could have made this wonderous sound he thought (I'm guessing) So I did it again. And suddenly the Flarp was THE most facinating thing in the room.

Just Why?!

An email I recieved through Myspace:

Date:
Sep 5, 2007 5:01 AM Date Sent: 9/5/2007 5:01:00
AMBody:Hi, dear Laura Nice to meet you. Your photos are lovely. How do you do ? I am Hongwu in Beijing, China. I am software engineer. I study in Beijing University in spare time. In Beijing University, there are some foreign students & scholars came from USA. I feel Myspace.com is a very good place. What do you do on Myspace.com ? Do you know something about China ? If you are interested, I will send you some pictures about China & myself at once. So you can understand something about China at first. Please give me your email address. About me, I seek girlfriend & a marriage here. Please view my profile & my photos there, if you are interested. My email address: xuhowu@hotmail.com xuhowu@yahoo.com.cn On hotmail.com, I have instant messanger. It's also called MSN. On MSN, my user name is xuhowu@hotmail.com Hope to hear from you Hongwu in Beijing University, China "

Somebody please tell WHY I only attract weirdos like this!

Great Shape me?

I have decided to purchase an elliptical machine- they provide an excellent cardio workout. Yes I still belong to the gym and I intend to keep the membership so that I can strenght train. However, my trainer tells me that cardio is essential to physical fitness and to weight loss. I decided to buy my own elliptical because I always feel self conscious when I go on the treadmill, bike, or elliptical at the gym-there are people there to stare at me sweating on the elliptical and judge me based on my speed. Plus I am pretty busy, so if it's right there I will be more likely to do it while I am watching tv or reading. I found one that has all the features that the ones at the gym have, but at a really good price. To the left is a picture of the one I bought.

Frustrations

It seems like I have been job searching for an eternity now. I finally got a call for an interview, which I scheduled, but I'm not sure I'm going to keep it. The job would involve a lot of driving and I would be taking a sizable pay cut, but I would have benefits and a 401K. I could always supplement my income by staying at VCG part time, but that wouldn't leave me much time for an internship (if that ever gets set up!!!), which is an important consideration.
In other news, I am still struggling to set up my internship. I have to be supervised be an AAMFT approved supervisor, of which there are only seven in the valley, and I have to find a place that will let me do master's level work with a BS- not an easy task. Between this and my job search I want to pull my hair out!!! But at least my class is going well.

For the record

With the exception of the gel booties (thanks mom!), once again, my list was ignored!!! and you wonder why I drag my feet about making them up!

Cleanin' Out My Closet

I was looking through my closet today, mostly because JcPenney always sends me a coupon in August, to see if I was in need of any clothes. While I don't absolutely need anything, I decided to use the coupon on a long sleeved shirt or two- most of mine fit but are big and make me look either dumpy or ten pounds heavier. So off I went to JcPenney where I was reminded of why my body sucks. Apparently, I am at that akward stage of body transformation ( some call it weight lose, I prefer the more positive and dramatic "body transformation") where nothing fits exactly right. (sigh) You see, empire waists are all the rage right now. This good because I happen to like this style and they (usually) look good on me. So I picked one out in a medium (because that is my size now!!!) and it fit everywhere but the chest. So, because I really liked the shirt, I lowered myself and picked up a large- which was too big. Bastards! After trying on both sizes several times, I decided to get the medium and wear it so that the "waist" is under the girls but with a camisole so that I can still be modest.

At Last...!

I FINALLY have high speed internet!!!!!

A Post for Mama

Today my mom turns 29 with 25 years of experience. I honor of her birthday and just because I think she needs to see her self through someone else's eyes.........
My mom taught me:
* The value of hard work: my mom has the best work ethic of anyone I know and thankfully she taught it to all of her children. This work ethic has helped me in everything I do. Most of my supervisors loved me because I worked so hard. It has also helped me stick to my goals.
*Responsibility: My mom, really both my parents, expected me to be responsible and didn't tolerate anything less. At the time, I really hated this, but now I'm glad that they did because, again, it has helped me in everything I do.
*How Not to be a victim: My mom had a rough childhood, however she has never used this as an excuse. She taught me that sometimes bad things happen but that doesn't mean you lay down and die.
*How to forgive: My mom's parents were quite mean to her when she was a child and I think that most people would understand if she left their house at 18 and never spoke to them again. However, she forgave them for how they treated her and now takes care of her mother. I have never quite understood how she was able to do this- she must be an awefully good person!
*The value of silliness: My mom is the silliest person I know- it's like she held on to her five year old self. Sometimes it can be such a release to be incredibly silly.
* The importance of snuggling: Up until I moved out of the house, my mom would periodically invite us all to hang out on her bed and snuggle. I loved these pow wows.
*It's ok to make mistakes: I have made my fair share of mistakes, but each and everytime, my mom has been there to reassure me that everything would be ok.
*Unconditional love: .....not that I was a bad kid.....but I'm sure there were days....
*Always pursue dreams: my mom went back to school to get her associates degree about 20 years and three kids after she graduated high school. If that doesn't take guts, then I don't know what does! I had a hard time get back in to the swing of things after a two year break from school, I can't imagine how hard it is after 20 years!
*The value of Family: My mom always said family comes first and she has always stuck to this despite her upbringing. It facinates me that even though she had a rough childhood and the dysfunctional family, she continues to be loyal to all of them.
*How to be a decent human being(kindness, consideration, and respect): I am proud to say I am nice person because any more, we are a rare bread. In all fairness, I have both of my parents to thank for this, not just my mom.
* The correct way to read a children's storybook: I cannot explain this, she just does it better then anyone else I know.
* Strenght: My mom has commented on how strong I am but I believe that I learned this from her. There are a lot of things that have happened to her that would make anyone want to run for the hills, but she didn't.

This list is not, of course, comprehensive. These are the things that stick out the most for me. Thanks mom!

Birthday Ideas

Since you all complain that I never give you gift ideas, here are a few:
* the 5th season of Scrubs
*Earth Therapeutics Soft-Soles Gel Booties which can be found at Bed, Bath & Beyond
*Susan Branch books

Belly Watch 2007

I think I have been subconsciously waiting for my phone to ring ever since I read Steph's post about feeling normal again. My guess is that, much like his siblings, he will not be bothered to wait for something as trival as a due date or his parents to be ready for his arrival. I am particularly excited for this one, not because it's a new baby(although that is exciting), but because I am curious to see what he winds up being named. It seems like a suitable name doesn't exist!

PS. This is the way my computer saved this picture and I can't figure out how to rotate it on Blogger- if anyone knows how please tell me!!

Note to Steph

Ok, you're right...it is cathartic.

ARRRG!!!!

I mentioned before that I will hopefully be starting the clinical requirements for my degree in August. In order to do that, I have to find a place to see clients and a supervisor. So, I went the the AAMFT website and looked at their directory of approved supervisors. Then I emailed one and she, by some miracle said that she would gladly supervise me and she would check if I could intern at the agency she works at and oh, by the way where do you go to school? So I wrote her back thanking her for her kindness and explaining that I go to an online school and explaining how my degree program works. And then she wrote back and said that she would only supervise me if her agency would let me intern there- she thought that I went to one of the local schools and that is why she agreed to supervise me no matter where I did my internship. And suprise, suprise..her agency doesn't have space. Bastards!!! I am so sick of people thinking that just because I don't spend three hours a week in a lecture hall I getting an inferior education! My degree program requires just as much work, if not more, as the programs at the local colleges and I am held to the exact same standards as those students are!!!!

FYI

I have been told that we will have high speed internet by the end of July. I would imagine that I will be able to post more frequently then since I will not have to compete with my roomate,oops I mean roommates, for the phone line!

Opinions Please!

Jen recently mentioned to me that she heard that our graduating class is having a ten year reunion. She wants to go-but only with a group of friends. I say of course she wants to go: she's engaged, has a master's degree, is casually house shopping, and has a great job that she loves. I am on the fence. I am already in touch with pretty much everyone from high school that I really want to associate with, but it would be interesting to hear what other people are up to. However, unlike Jen, I have a crappy job that I am trying to get rid of, not even a mister right for now, and I am currently wondering what I'm going to do when our lease expires in May. Although, the Master's is in progress. What do all of you think?

The State of Me

Ok, I know that it has been quite a while since I have last posted. SOOO...just so that EVERYONE is aware:
* The job search continues- it's hard to find a good job at the Bachelor's level that pays decently because most of the jobs require either a Master's Degree or just a high school diploma(so they don't pay well). So I continue to check careerbuilder everyday in the hopes that something, anything, good will be waiting for me.
* The Man search continues, but what else is new? Whoever said a good man is hard to find wasn't kidding!!
*I will NOT be moving in to Jen's house- she and her fiance decided they couldn't swing a house, so I will be hoping and praying that I find a good job with better pay comes along so that I can swing my own appartment when our lease expires next may.
* School is going well- I have gotten A's in all but one of the classes I took to date! (I got a B- an 89%- in the other class) I will be starting my next class, Family Therapy with Children, on July 1st and hopefully starting my practicum ( which involves me actually conducting therapy under the supervision of a licensed MFT!! Exciting and scary!) on August 1st.

The (not) skinny

Today my trainer decided to take my measurements and my body fat percentage- these, especially the BF%, are a better indicator of health then your weight. Much to my frustration, my measurements are exactly the same as they were four months ago, even though I have been eating better and working out slightly more, which did not make either of us happy. My body fat percentage went down by 1%, which is good, but it is still not in the healthy range. So, I decided to get a scale that measures weight, % of water in your body,and BF% to keep track of them and motivate me to eat better and workout. I have resisted buying a scale because I have a tendency to get fixated on the number on that scale and completely forget that that is only part of the picture. When I did it late morning it rated me as obese- which shocked me. I decided to do it again tonight and record it and the percentage went down by 2%, which is in the "overfat" range- strange because this was after I had eaten lunch, dinner and some snacks, so I wonder if the time of day it is done matters. I also wonder if the time of the month would impact it. I also bought these green tea dietary supplement pills out of sheer curiosity. They were only 5.00 and I have heard reports of something in green tea helping with weight loss, so I thought if they work, it will kick start my weight loss and if they don't I'm only out 5.00. And yes mom, I checked the ingredients and I can bring the package over for your approval!

Ok, now everyone cross their fingers....

My horoscope for today:

March 26, 2007
Yes, it is your turn now, Laura. Perhaps you have been waiting and waiting for something, and somehow, the timing just hasn't seemed right. Perhaps there has been some big blockage in the way, either mental, or physical. Wait no longer, because the time is here. Step up to the plate and say your piece. There are no more excuses so don't hold back. The more you contribute, the more you will be richly rewarded.

I read my horoscope for fun, but I wish that just this once it would be true!

Spring Cleaning

I have been so busy with school work that I didn't have time to clean my room and it got quite messy- I felt like I was living in a storage facility! SO, I spent the majority of today cleaning my room, along with my cabinets in the kichen. I know my room doesn't seem like that big of a project, but I have packed a suprising amout of stuff in to that room!! I feel so much better now! I also baked a cake of sorts- I used a few small loaf pans with the batter instead of a 9 x 13 pan. I'm going to miss having all this free time when I start my classes next Sunday!

ahem....

I would just like to point out that certain people who picked on me for not updating my blog have not updated their blogs. Who's the slacker now?!

One down, one more to go

Since my last client of the day cancelled, I am home all by myself right now. So being the good little blogger who got her head chewed off for not updating that I am, I decided to post. Happy now?! Last night I turned in the final three assignments for my one class, which felt good. Now I just need to do the final two assignments for my other class and I will be done....for a couple weeks. I plan to start my next 2 classes in April, so I will not have much of a break.

FYI

I realize that you all are just foaming at the mouth to read about my….uh….exciting? life, but please stop with the comments. I know that you are trying to be funny, but honestly, it’s just annoying. I work more then 40 hours a week in a very stressful field with many people who add more stress. I am taking classes towards my master’s degree- which is like having a part time job and is also a source of stress. Not to mention the tension with one of my roommates and the time I must devote to the gym(and yes, it is a necessity- I believe we have mentioned a desire for grandchildren for mom and a promotion to “Aunt” Stephanie) I do not have a lot of free time and posting is on the lower end of the list of priorities. Please be patient!!!

Full Moon

My roommates have been acting very strangely lately. Jen started dating a new guy and ever since she has been friendlier. She has also gone MIA- I haven’t seen her for the past four days, which is very out of character for her. Liza is apparently fighting with Jen, for reasons only she(Liza) understands. She is also worried about Jen since we don’t know Mike, the aforementioned guy, all that well and Jen has been spending A LOT of time with him.

Psst.....

Even thought I do not work in a field that typically recieves tips or gifts during this time of year, we do have clients, not all of them but some, that get us little gifts. Generally it's a little something from the dollar store, but we do occationally get a really nice gift, such as the one above. I have always appreciated these gifts, no matter what they are, because I think that is the parent's way of saying that they are grateful for what we do. But if I'm being entirely honest, a sincere "Thank you" from a parent means more then anything that could be bought.

My Grown Up Christmas List

Here is my real Christmas list, NOT in order of importance:

1) A new Job- I'm not entirely sure that I want to work for a different company- things have definately changed for the better- but I would like either a new position or a promotion. Or at the very least:
2) My own office
3) A pay raise
4)Mr. Right- you will notice I didn't say "a boyfriend", I said mr. right because time's awastin'
5) My own apartment- things with the roomies have been a slight bit better, but I have come to the conclusion that things will always have to be done Liza's/sometimes Jen's way. Plus I think I'm a better decorator!
6) A winning lottery ticket
7) Faster results at the gym
8) to be further along with my master's degree
9) Health insurance (without a huge price tag)
10) for my apartment to be mouse free!
11) to be able to fix the scratch on my pretty car
12) for the rest of my family to be able to move somewhere where they will be safe

We girls...Can Do Anything! That's Right Barbie!

Andrew, the one who has worked for us for a long 5 months, assumed the role of director at the start of this week. I have been dreading this because Andrew, bless his little soul, knows nothing about BHRS( the type of program I work in- Behavioral Health Rehabilitation Services). I fully expected to see further signs of the apocalypse upon arriving at the office on Monday morning. But it has been, MUCH to my suprise, a pretty good week. The head honcho and I had a discussion one morning about how he just now realized that the company had previously been run by an evil little clique(I'm paraphrasing) and that certain employees were being "sabataged". And I was given a slight promotion. Andrew has decided that there should be 3 levels of TSS, each with a different pay rate. The highest TSS, called Level 1 ( yes, I know it doesn't make sense- there's a reason I nicknamed him Barbie), has the added responsibility of training the new TSS- something that I already did, but now I will get paid extra to do it. YAY ME!! I am not totally convinced that I want to stick around at this place, but it's a possibility.

I am thankful for:

I post so often about the things that have gone awry in my life, so I thought I would post about all the good things:

1) My parents- not until I started working with children with a mental health diagnosis did I fully appreciate the tremendous impact good parents, or the lack thereof, can have. I am lucky enough to have parents who are supportive, who made sacrifices to make sure that I was taken care of, and are, knock on wood, healthy & alive.

2) My sisters- while being an only child looked good when I was growing up, I have come to value my sisters.

3) My big, crazy, disfunctional extended family- Dull holiday or family function? Not with my extended family!

4) My job- Even though it is a stressful job and my boss really seriously could win an award for unprecidented stupidity in decision making, I love what I do. I love that I spend my day doing something good and making the world an ever so slightly better place.

5) My niece and nephews- they are adorable and most of the time, they make me want to have kids of my own in the worst way!

6)My apartment- my bedroom may be the only place in the apt that is truely mine, but I like feeling like an adult.

7) My car- I know that a car is just a possession, but knowing that I bought a new car makes me feel ever so slightly successful, which is priceless. Also I need it to make a living

8) Thunder From Down Under- because hello! Have you seen them?!

9) That I am a grad student! Not only do I get to further my career, but I get to feel smart!

10)My Friends- do I need to explain?

11) Yearly trips to Vegas- make up for all the spring breaks that I worked through. And now that I have a decent income and paid vacation time, soooo much better then spring break!!!

12) I belong to a gym- I get to workout and more importantly, I've seen results!

13)Sick days and paid vacation- because I need a break every now and then!

14) Christmas, my most favorite holiday, is almost here!

15) My big, cushy bed that feels soooo good after a long day with the short people and their, sometimes, hostile keepers.

16) Dane Cook and John Heffron- the only comediens who make me laugh out loud.

17) The Wedding Date- the male lead's lines are so good you KNOW they were written by a woman, but, a girl can dream.....

18) That this year is almost over- I have always felt a sense of promise with the start of a new year and a sense of hope that it will be better then the last.

FYI: I'm Awesome: Part deux

I finished my tenth and final assignment for school today!!! This is the third(3rd) assignment I have done this week! And then I requested my next two classes, which will start in January.

why you should never fall asleep at a family party!

FYI: I'm Awesome

My professor just graded all of the assignments that I have turned in so far (7 out of 10) and I have 100% on every single one!!!! She has written comments on each, so I know that they have really been read and the grade is legitimate. In addition to giving a grade, the professor has to score my writting ability on a scale of 1 to 6 with 6 being excellent. The icing on the cake? Every assignment has been given a writting score of 6. The University also requires each student to write a Statement of Intent, which is a short essay about your goals and how your program relates to said goals, for the purpose of assessing your writting ability on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being excellent. My score was a 5! Why, you ask, does this delight me so much? Because what caused me to drop below the minimum 3.0 GPA at Liberty was a "D" grade on a paper. So take that mr. hoity toity professor man!!!!!

Mental Health Day

Lately my job, well, really my coworkers, have been driving my Crazy. I realized exactly how crazy when I woke up late on Wednesday morning and the first thought that popped in to my head was not "oh crap, I only have a half hour to get ready", it was" I need to use a sick day soon". So I decided to be sick today and I feel so much better!

One Expensive Sticker

I recently renewed my car's registration- but lost the little '07 sticker that you put on your plate. So today I went to an agency that does license stuff to get a replacement. 20.00 bucks for that tiny little sticker!!!

An Act of Management

Last week the guidance counselor of one of our clients called the office looking for the client's BSC, who I happen to share a TSS case with. Both the acting director (Michele) and the guidance counselor were having trouble getting in touch with him. The acting director emailed him telling him if he did not contact her by this past monday, she was going to start restaffing his cases. Now Michele is in for an hour or 2 a day- what hour changes on a daily basis-so it's pretty hard to catch her. Needless to say the BSC didn't catch her in time and Michele immediately started restaffing his cases- including the one I share with him.(Not, however, the one that started this mess!) This irritates me because our case was going very well: the client and his parents were happy and responsive to all of his therapists- something that doesn't always happen immediately and for that reason you DO NOT mess with it!! The BSC position is critical because this person oversees the entire case and decides exactly what we do with the client. So Michele has now completely disrupted this case for no good reason- her ego is the only thing that was benefited by this decision!! Silly me, I thought we should be doing what is best for the client, NOT the staff!!!

Public Service Announcement

I have heard so many complaints, mostly from my mom, that I don't talk and tell people what is going on in my life. It's not that I don't want to tell you what's going on, it's that one of two things generally happens. One- you are so busy telling me about what's going on in your neck of the woods that we run out of time. Or Two- I start to tell you, only to be cut off by my delightful neice or because you have thought of something else you want to tell me or because you have to chase or tickle or otherwise tease your grandchildren. And then you wonder why I am aggitated!!! I spend over 40 hours a week listening to other people's problems and trying help them. And then I visit my Family and listen to them and their problems. I love my job- helping people is a wonderful way to spend your day, and I am glad that I can be there to let my family members vent- I know how important that is. But sometimes, sometimes(!), I need someone to listen to me!!!!! Without interuption!!!

The Ties that Bind

The day that my mom had her heartattack, my sister called me to ask if I wasn't working could I take her to the hospital because our mom had been taken there by ambulance. I was horified to think that my sister thought that I was that cold that I would put work over family and I told her that day that if anyone in our family was taken by ambulance I would be done with work the second I knew! And I absolutely meant it! Recently I have been asked to care for Mimi- checking up on her and giving her a ride. After a lot of thought and with a lot of guilt, I declined these requests. It's not that I don't want to help- I know that Mom and uncle David have a lot to do with her. Or that I don't love her- because I do. When I declined, I said it was because between work and school, I really have very little time- And that is absolutely true. But I know if it was a member of my immediate family(or someone that a member of my immediate family either married or gave birth to) that needed caring for, I'd make the time. The difference is that I have a bond with these people that I don't have with Mimi. I love her very much- but not as much as my parents,sisters, brother-in-law, niece, and nephews. There is a part of me that would like to try to bond with her, but I don't know that that is possible. Mimi has always had her favorites, and I was definately not one of them- I was far to shy and heavy. Not being accepted by your grandmother is a little tough to stomach.

All Freaked Out

So today when I got home there were Fifteen messages on our answering machine. Yes FIFTEEN messages. And all fifteen were hang ups from an "Unknown" number spaced approximately a half an hour apart. I am at a lost for who could have been calling. All three of us have cell phones and anyone who needed to get in touch with us that badly would have called the cell of the person they needed. And telemarketer just don't get paid enough to be that persistant.

'Tis the season

Now that summer- and the increased hours that go with it- is over, I am a little strapped for cash. I have decided to apply for one of the seasonal positions at Bath & Body Works. Any one want to make a family affair? Claire? you know you wanna....

Just Because

Last week sucked. All of my Clients were flipping out left and right- a full moon must be comming. I'm am posting this forward that Jen sent me forever ago because it is funny and true, and it applies:
YOU MIGHT BE EMPLOYED BY A SCHOOL IF:
1. You believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin saltlick.
2. You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."
3. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
4. You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on the report card.
5. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
6. When out in public you can feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.
7. You have no social life between August and June!
8. Marking all A's on report cards would make life SO much easier.
9. You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
10. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
11. You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge".
12. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools orhome schooling.
13. You can't have children of your own because there's no name youcould give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the momentyou heard it uttered.
14. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form. 15. You know you are in for a major project when a parent says, "I havea great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun."
16. Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why isthis kid like this?"
For Those of you who do not work with Children (other people's, not your own), YES we really do think like this!

Men in Kilts

Yesterday I went to downtown Bethlehem and celtic fest with my mom and sisters. The downtown Bethlehem part was fun- I enjoy the stores down there and I don't go to them often so they are always a nice break from the mall. Celtic Fest was...ok. I have never been a huge fan of loud crowded places. It's not that I don't have fun at these places, its just that I find I generally want to leave long before the people I came with. This is why I'm pretty sure that I won't meet Mr. Right at a bar. Unless he goes to bed early. What generally happens is that I express my wish to leave and it either goes ignored (making me feel like my feelings don't matter) or the person or people make comments much like Claire did last night implying that I want to leave because I have a stick up my ass. I like bars and festivals, but I only like them in small doses (a few hours). This is not because I have a stick up my ass or because don't like to have fun or whatever other stupid reason you can think of- it is because I am a textbook example of an introvert. Places like this become overstimulating and make me tired- both physically and mentally. This is not something I am doing to be a killjoy or something that I can change- temperment is genetic. In the time I was not updating my blog, I was busy reading a book called The Introvert Advantage. I have seen books on introvertedness and shyness before and have always been courious, so I bought one. Like I said before, it turns out I'm pretty much a textbook example. You are all welcome to borrow it.

(gasp) An Update!! Alert the Media!!

Ok, so maybe I am not as good about keeping up with my blog as Steph or Claire. Ok, maybe that is an understatement. However, unlike those two, I have roommates, one in particular that spends, in my opinion, an unhealthy amount of time on the computer. On the weekends, when she stays with her boyfriend, I never have trouble getting online- coincidence? I think not! That said, I do realize that I need to update more often because apparently all of you are just foaming at the mouth to read about my life- "What will she do next?! "you think. So I will try, but I'm not promising anything!

You got fight..For your right..to Paaarty!

This year's birthday was sponsored by the Penguin- bath mats and windchimes(Liza) and ice cream scoops, oh my! Please no more ice cream scoops! I now have 3, two of which are penguin ice cream scoops -I think I'm good for a few years.I also got the Ny Firefighter's 2007 calendar from Jen. A couple of them should not be models. Sorry, I know it's for charity and all, but seriously! The party was fun. Claire ,naturally, was only present when there was food and for the openning of the presents, which I thought was kinda rude. I realize that we aren't riveting to her, but it's not about her- it was MY birthday celebration so it's about ME. And we topped the night off by insulting Steph & Tom's parenting skills! Yes, it was just non-stop joy!

Just Me & My Mom

I had a really nice, relaxing day with my mom today. First she came over and admired my apartment, which is always nice- both the admiring and having someone visit me for a change. Then we wondered around the shops of Bethlehem township and had a nice leisurely lunch and discussed the extended family- always a lively topic! It's days like this that make me miss those nights when we'd all plop in to Mom&Dad's bed and chat.

Smarty Pants

I have to give myself a pat on the back. Yesterday I decided to ask for vacation days for black Friday and five days around Christmas and New Year's. Because Christmas and new year's are on a monday and are both paid holidays, my five vacation days will last almost a week and a half! AND I have requested these days before anyone else, so I am pretty much ( I don't take anything as a given with my supervisors) guaranteed to get them! And then today, I ordered my books for the class I am taking on Amazon instead of the textbook supplier the school uses and saved myself a little over 50.00.

In honor of my birthday, I will make this post lavendar( which is my favorite color, not purple)Since I keep getting so many requests for a birthday list, here is what I truely want:

1) A new job with coworkers that are not catty and benefits and better pay.
2) A winning lottery ticket
3) A Masters degree
4) Mr. Right
5) A house of my own to decorate and plant things

See, I don't ask for much! My birthday was a pretty blah day- all I did was work and go to the gym. I supose that this is a good start to a new year. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my 28th year will be better than my 27th year. According to...I forget but it's someone I'm related to...you have a new body every seven years, so if that's true I have a brand new body. ooh la la!

thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!!!

"The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard. " ~Sloan Wilson
I was recently accepted to grad school, but unfortunely, the school doesn't have federal aid so in order to go there, I need a private educational loan which apparently I cannot get without a cosigner. I know that Mom occasionally reads my posts and dad has been here at least once, so just in case you need to see it in black and white: THANK YOU so much for helping me out!!

The News

Forgive me people, for it has been four weeks since my last confession...er....I mean post. I have spent most of those four weeks being either too busy or too tired to post or if I was in the mood to write, the phone line has been unavailable. So just to update:
1) The job search continues, but I have a feeling that I'm going to be at VCG for a bit yet. I did get a call for an interview, but the job was an hour away and would be a pay cut. My co workers are catty as usual. I do get an occational reprive from the bitchyness courtosy(sp? sound it out!) of Andrew, the previously mentioned new casemanager, but I believe he fluctuates between the dark side and the good side(my side).

2) Liza had a mature moment and decided to call an apartment meeting to talk about how she does most of the cleaning. Which, in all fairness to her, she does do the majority of it and Jen and I really do need to do more. It was, of course, the end of the world. I was really tempted to breakout in to a chorus of Cinderella, but that would be wrong. We came up with a cleaning schedule, so hopefully, this will solve some problems and Liza will stop acting like we would all live in filth if it was not for her. hopefully.

3) I was accepted to Grad school and as long as my financial aid is in place soon enough, will start the program next month. Everybody say a prayer for me!

Hey Steph, UNADULTERATED HELL now how many points do I get?!