The Ties that Bind

The day that my mom had her heartattack, my sister called me to ask if I wasn't working could I take her to the hospital because our mom had been taken there by ambulance. I was horified to think that my sister thought that I was that cold that I would put work over family and I told her that day that if anyone in our family was taken by ambulance I would be done with work the second I knew! And I absolutely meant it! Recently I have been asked to care for Mimi- checking up on her and giving her a ride. After a lot of thought and with a lot of guilt, I declined these requests. It's not that I don't want to help- I know that Mom and uncle David have a lot to do with her. Or that I don't love her- because I do. When I declined, I said it was because between work and school, I really have very little time- And that is absolutely true. But I know if it was a member of my immediate family(or someone that a member of my immediate family either married or gave birth to) that needed caring for, I'd make the time. The difference is that I have a bond with these people that I don't have with Mimi. I love her very much- but not as much as my parents,sisters, brother-in-law, niece, and nephews. There is a part of me that would like to try to bond with her, but I don't know that that is possible. Mimi has always had her favorites, and I was definately not one of them- I was far to shy and heavy. Not being accepted by your grandmother is a little tough to stomach.